Recently I realised part of my journey here in this lifetime is to learn about the feminine (that sounds really obvious, I know but stick with me here). Not just my journey, I deeply feel it is apart of all our journeys man, woman and child to collectively remember and reignite the flame of the feminine. What is it to breathe the feminine? To feel her silent nature. So gentle and ever present. She guides with strength but waits for us to come to her. Waits for us to soften. To sit in the silence. To stop doing, moving. To stop numbing out on food and screens. To open ourselves to her.


Feeling deeply moved by reading My year without matches by Claire Dunn where she also explores this, my emotion stems from life cutting me off from my kids while the road is closed due to landslides. I sink into this moment with mixed emotions, deep longing to have my children back, relief that I can breathe for a moment and guilt that I feel relieved. As I take this time of separation I realise just how much of myself I give up when I’m with the kids and how often I do this dance. When I’ve had enough time away from the mother role to nurture and rebalance I then open up to questioning who I am as I realise I am not the role of mother. I have a whole other part of me that becomes numb and forgotten when I slip back into parenting and life. I try and keep a hold of the essence of myself but she falls to the weighside as life’s other commitments take over and become all consuming. I feel myself slowly coming out of the mother role and wonder if the first 7 years, the formative years are a time of wholeheartedly being in that role and committing to it or if its possible to find a healthy balance. With time to myself I feel sadness as I realise the large part of me that’s been forgotten. I forgot I have a wild side, dying to create and play and be. I feel sadness for the ending of those formative years as my children grow older and a wishing I had been more present and accepting of being a mother in those early years. For some reason it took me by surprise early on, like any idea of what I was getting into became quashed in the first six months and slowly decomposed with time. The take away from that as with any breaking down it eventually became compost and fertiliser for the growth of a beautiful relationship with my kids. That is just one example of how life can take our focus away from the stream of feminine that flows within us.


The relationship I find myself needing to foster now is with myself. Unpacking and shedding the layers of my past so I can spend time birthing and nurturing myself. This feels like a difficult era to be a woman in, in some ways. In others it’s an exciting time. The bitter-sweetness comes with the rise of single mums who stand in their independence but are met with a harsh reality of a nuclear society. The single mum becomes the provider and the nurturer. After working to provide she meets herself in the kitchen to cook the meal, play with the kids and settle them into bed. The next morning met again with the duties of provider and care giver. The excitement comes with the fierce feminine who can do all these things and revels in the freeing independence. So in conclusion, as with many things it’s tough and has its challenges but I find the rewards are highly worth it. The experience nourishes in many unexplainable ways. I have learnt the divine masculine is to do all things with a soft but powerful loving kindness. The emphasis is on the word do, the masculine is the doing energy, action inclusive of words and deeds alike.


The feminine however as I sense it now, is the intuitive nature of our being. Our gut instinct and the subtle messages. She’s wounded and quashed when we don’t listen to her. I’m feeling that it doesn’t matter exactly how we are being feminine. Its not dresses, beauty or even being the wild woman in the amazon. The image and the actions don’t matter. It’s the inner guidance that matters and how closely we are listening to that and honoring it with voice and action. I feel empowered to be a single mother because that’s the roaring guidance of my feminine and why I feel such passion about it. But what are your messages and your guidance? What are the whispers from within guiding you towards? She whispers to us through our feeling which we need to drop the doing sometimes to really hear.

She whispers so quietly to us. It’s in that feeling of instinct. The call of another direction. To do something daring, different or strange. She is our path. The question is, do we have the skills to not only open ourselves up to hear her but the courage to action her words?